The Astrology Of Attraction And Sex

Soon I will be blogging about Love in Astrology because I get so many questions in my practice about attraction, love and sex. But today, in a lead-up to that post, I thought I would write about attraction and sex and how we can navigate our own astrology and the astrology of those around us in the hope of finding the mechanics of it all.

Before I start this post, it is important to know the planetary placements of your own chart and anyone else you are interested in finding out about. It’s not enough to simply know that you are a Leo or Libra because this is only a description of your sun sign, or where the sun was on your day of birth. Always remember that there are nine other planets in our solar system (if your think of the sun and moon as planets, too) and each of their placements in the zodiac have significant meaning in our overall chart.

Most important of all is that you know your ascendant and this can only be calculated if you know your time of birth on the day you were born. If you don’t know this you may have to spend time with an astrologer and get them to try and work it out. You can contact me for this, too, by filling in the contact sheet on my site.

If you do know your time of birth you can go to a site like astroseek.com of astro.com, create an account, and then enter your birth data in the relevant place to get it to calculate your birth chart (so much easier than in the old days when we had to laboriously work it out with a calculator!).

Attraction

What is it that attracts us to certain people? Attraction is one of those things that, without the assistance of brilliant tools like astrology, can be very difficult to understand. How many times have you seen couples that, outwardly, really don’t appear to suit each other? All those times where you ask “What in heavens name does [Partner A] see in [Partner B]?” Where highly attractive she is with very unattractive he, or vice versa. Or young he appears very happy with much older she. You can add any other scenario, with any combination of sexes, sizes, races, creeds or financial disparities that constitute a visible or perceived mismatch here… it’s the same question.

In astrology, your planetary placements can very often describe what it is about you that attracts (or repels). Of some importance is what planets are in your 1st House, 5th House, 7th House or 10th House. But any house or sign can be a factor or influence on the outcome. Most important, though, is where Venus and Mars are placed.

Most of what I have written below is based on Synastry, the study of “potential” compatibilities or in-compatibilities. These are calculated by overlaying the charts of two and checking for planetary angles between the two.

It’s important to realize that we can draw up Synastry charts between any two people at all in order to know something about how they connect or interact with each other. It could be you and your lover, your child or parent, the newspaper salesman on the corner, or your school teacher. Anyone at all that you come into contact with. It’s also important to know that the person that you can’t stand to ever be around may just be highly attractive to me. The difference is in our personal astrology.

Venus And Mars

Venus: The Magnet of Love

• Role: Venus represents love, beauty, and pleasure. It shows how we attract others through charm, aesthetics, and harmony.
• Attraction: Venus indicates what we find beautiful and desirable, guiding us toward people and experiences that bring joy and satisfaction.
• Repulsion: Challenging aspects to Venus can manifest as difficulties in relationships, issues with self-worth, or being attracted to people who are not good for us.

Mars: The Pursuer of Desire

• Role: Mars symbolizes our drive, passion, and sexual energy. It shows how we pursue what we desire and the nature of our sexual expression.
• Attraction: Mars indicates what turns us on and how we go after what we want, adding a dynamic, assertive energy to attraction.
• Repulsion: Mars in conflict can result in aggression, impatience, or competitiveness in relationships, leading to conflicts and potential repulsion.

1st House

The 1st House represents what we project into our environment. It is the first impression we make on others and swings a heavy punch in what others see.

• Venus in the 1st House: Venus’ feminine energy, even in males, helps to make us beautiful. It makes a show of our charm, our refined manners and harmonious looks.
• Mars in the 1st House: Mars’ more masculine energy, even in females, helps to make us appear dynamic, energetic and assertive.

7th House

The 7th House represents partnerships and how we relate to others in one-on-one relationships.

• Venus in the 7th House: This placement attracts harmonious, loving partnerships. People with Venus in the 7th House often seek beauty, balance, and mutual respect in their relationships. They are likely to be charming and diplomatic, attracting partners who value these qualities.
• Mars in the 7th House: Mars here adds passion and dynamism to relationships. Individuals with this placement are drawn to strong, assertive partners and enjoy a bit of competitive spirit in their interactions. This can make their relationships fiery and exciting, though potentially contentious if not managed well.

5th House

The 5th House rules romance, creativity, and self-expression.

• Venus in the 5th House: This placement indicates a love of romance and pleasure. People with Venus in the 5th House are often attracted to creative, fun-loving partners and enjoy a playful approach to love. They might also be drawn to artistic or dramatic types.
• Mars in the 5th House: Mars in the 5th House brings a bold, passionate approach to romance. These individuals are attracted to excitement and adventure in love and may pursue romantic interests with enthusiasm and courage. They enjoy the thrill of the chase and are often spontaneous in matters of the heart.

10th House

The 10th House represents career, public image, and social status.

• Venus in the 10th House: Venus here suggests that attraction often stems from admiration of one’s professional success or social standing. Individuals with this placement may attract partners who are impressed by their achievements and public image. They often find love in professional or public settings.
• Mars in the 10th House: Mars in the 10th House indicates a drive for success and ambition that can be attractive to others. These individuals are drawn to partners who are equally ambitious and goal-oriented. They may also experience attraction in professional environments where their drive and determination are on full display.

The Moon: Emotional Connection

The Moon represents our emotional needs and how we seek comfort and security.

• Role: The Moon influences attraction by revealing what makes us feel safe and nurtured. It’s key in understanding our deeper emotional connections with others.
• Attraction: A strong Moon placement or harmonious aspects can indicate a nurturing, empathetic partner who meets our emotional needs.
• Repulsion: Challenging aspects to the Moon can result in emotional volatility, moodiness, or a lack of emotional fulfillment, which can push others away.

Mercury: Mental Compatibility

Mercury governs communication, intellect, and the way we think and express ourselves.

• Role: Mercury’s placement influences attraction through mental compatibility and stimulating conversation.
• Attraction: People with strong Mercury aspects are often drawn to those who engage their minds and can hold meaningful, intellectual conversations.
• Repulsion: Miscommunications, intellectual mismatches, or differences in communication styles can create misunderstandings and drive people apart.

Jupiter: Expansion and Joy

Jupiter represents growth, expansion, optimism, and joy.

• Role: Jupiter attracts through its promise of growth, positivity, and a sense of adventure.
• Attraction: Individuals are drawn to partners who inspire optimism and a sense of adventure. Jupiter’s expansive energy can make relationships feel uplifting and full of potential.
• Repulsion: Overexpansion or unrealistic expectations can lead to disappointment. Excessive optimism can cause one to overlook relationship issues, leading to eventual conflict.

Saturn: Commitment and Stability

Saturn symbolizes structure, responsibility, and long-term commitment.

• Role: Saturn attracts through the promise of stability, reliability, and maturity.
• Attraction: Saturn’s influence can draw us to partners who offer security and a sense of long-term commitment. It’s about finding someone who is reliable and trustworthy.
• Repulsion: Saturn’s restrictive nature can create feelings of limitation, rigidity, or fear of commitment, leading to emotional distance or breakups.

Uranus: Excitement and Unconventionality

Uranus brings innovation, unpredictability, and a desire for freedom.

• Role: Uranus introduces excitement and novelty into attraction, making it dynamic but potentially unstable.
• Attraction: Uranus attracts through its promise of excitement and novelty. It draws us to unique, unconventional partners who offer new perspectives and experiences.
• Repulsion: The unpredictable nature of Uranus can cause instability and sudden changes, leading to feelings of unreliability and chaos in relationships.

Neptune: Idealism and Fantasy

Neptune symbolizes dreams, illusions, and spiritual connection.

• Role: Neptune attracts through idealism and a sense of spiritual or mystical connection.
• Attraction: Neptune’s energy can make us idealize partners and seek out those who seem to fulfill our dreams and fantasies, adding a magical quality to relationships.
• Repulsion: Neptune’s illusions can lead to confusion, deception, or unrealistic expectations, causing disillusionment and disappointment in relationships.

Pluto: Intensity and Transformation

Pluto represents power, transformation, and deep psychological forces.

• Role: Pluto attracts through its intense, transformative connections that challenge us to evolve.
• Attraction: Pluto’s influence can make relationships magnetic and all-consuming, drawing us into deep, transformative experiences.
• Repulsion: Pluto’s darker side can manifest as power struggles, obsession, or manipulation, leading to destructive and repellent dynamics.

Balancing Attraction and Repulsion

Understanding the roles of various planets in attraction and repulsion helps us navigate relationships more consciously. Each planet contributes a unique energy, influencing how we draw others to us and what might push them away. For all of these we need to study and understand the aspects these planets make to other planets and points within the chart. By recognizing these astrological dynamics, we can better manage our interactions and foster healthier, more fulfilling relationships.

Sex and Sexuality in Astrology

Moving from attraction to the bedroom, astrology provides a fascinating lens through which to explore our sexual dynamics and preferences. By examining the placement and aspects of key planets in our charts, we can gain deeper insights into our sexual nature and how we connect with others on a physical level.

Venus and Mars in Sexuality

Venus: Sensuality and Pleasure

• Role: Venus governs how we experience pleasure and what we find sensual. It shapes our approach to intimacy and how we express love physically.
• Impact: A well-aspected Venus enhances our ability to give and receive love, making us affectionate and attentive lovers. It highlights what we enjoy in bed and how we seek to please our partners.

Mars: Sexual Drive and Passion

• Role: Mars rules our sexual energy and drive, indicating how we pursue our desires and express our sexuality.
• Impact: Mars’ placement shows our sexual style—whether we are assertive and direct or more subtle and reserved. It also highlights what turns us on and how we act on our impulses.

The Role of Houses in Sexual Expression

8th House: Deep Intimacy and Transformation

The 8th House is traditionally associated with sex, intimacy, and transformation. It delves into the deeper, more intense aspects of our sexual relationships.

• Impact: Planets in the 8th House can indicate transformative sexual experiences, a desire for deep emotional connections, and the potential for power dynamics in sexual relationships. It’s where we experience the merging of bodies and souls, often leading to profound personal growth or challenges.

5th House: Romance and Pleasure

The 5th House rules romance, casual sex, and the joy we derive from physical intimacy.

• Impact: This house reveals our playful side in love, highlighting what we find enjoyable and fun in sexual relationships. It’s about the lighter, more joyful aspects of sex, where creativity and spontaneity come into play.

Aspects and Sexual Compatibility

Venus-Mars Aspects

• Conjunction: High sexual energy and strong attraction. These aspects indicate a harmonious blend of love and desire, making for passionate and fulfilling sexual relationships.
• Square: Tension and intense chemistry. This aspect can create a push-pull dynamic, leading to passionate but potentially tumultuous interactions.
• Trine: Harmonious sexual expression. These aspects indicate natural compatibility and a comfortable flow of sexual energy between partners.
• Opposition: Balancing differing desires. This aspect highlights a need to balance love and desire, leading to dynamic but potentially challenging sexual relationships.

Venus-Pluto Aspects

• Conjunction: Deep, potentially obsessive love. This aspect can indicate transformative and all-consuming sexual relationships.
• Square: Power struggles and intense attraction. This aspect can lead to challenging but deeply compelling sexual dynamics.
• Trine: Empowering love. These aspects indicate a harmonious integration of love and transformation, leading to profound and empowering sexual connections.
• Opposition: Tension and transformative attraction. This aspect highlights the need to balance power dynamics in sexual relationships, leading to intense but potentially challenging interactions.

Mars-Pluto Aspects

• Conjunction: Extreme sexual energy and control issues. This aspect can indicate a powerful and potentially challenging sexual dynamic.
• Square: Powerful attraction and potential conflict. This aspect can lead to intense sexual chemistry but also power struggles.
• Trine: Harmonious transformation of desires. These aspects indicate a natural and empowering flow of sexual energy.
• Opposition: Intense push-pull dynamics. This aspect highlights the need to balance power and control in sexual relationships, leading to dynamic but potentially challenging interactions.

Venus-Uranus Aspects

• Conjunction: Unconventional love and excitement. This aspect can lead to dynamic and unpredictable sexual relationships.
• Square: Unpredictable romance and tension. This aspect can create exciting but potentially unstable sexual dynamics.
• Trine: Exciting and harmonious sexual expression. These aspects indicate a natural integration of excitement and stability in sexual relationships.
• Opposition: Balancing freedom and intimacy. This aspect highlights the need to balance a desire for freedom with the need for intimacy, leading to dynamic but potentially challenging interactions.

Mars-Uranus Aspects

• Conjunction: Unpredictable and exciting sex. This aspect can indicate a dynamic and spontaneous sexual relationship.
• Square: Tension and excitement. This aspect can create intense sexual chemistry but also potential instability.
• Trine: Harmonious excitement. These aspects indicate a natural integration of excitement and stability in sexual relationships.
• Opposition: Balancing spontaneity and stability. This aspect highlights the need to balance a desire for excitement with the need for stability, leading to dynamic but potentially challenging interactions.

Venus-Neptune Aspects

• Conjunction: Idealized love and fantasy. This aspect can lead to dreamy and spiritual sexual connections.
• Square: Illusions and disillusionment. This aspect can create intense attraction but also potential for disappointment.
• Trine: Harmonious spiritual connection. These aspects indicate a natural integration of fantasy and reality in sexual relationships.
• Opposition: Balancing idealism and reality. This aspect highlights the need to balance romantic ideals with practical considerations, leading to dynamic but potentially challenging interactions.

Mars-Neptune Aspects

• Conjunction: Dreamy and spiritual sexuality. This aspect can indicate a deep, spiritual connection in sexual relationships.
• Square: Confusion and illusion. This aspect can create intense attraction but also potential for misunderstandings and disappointment.
• Trine: Harmonious integration of fantasy and desire. These aspects indicate a natural blend of fantasy and reality in sexual relationships.
• Opposition: Balancing dreams and desires. This aspect highlights the need to balance idealistic desires with practical realities, leading to dynamic but potentially challenging interactions.

Final Thoughts

In this I have mostly concentrated on Venus and Mars, but actually all planets, their house positions and aspects to other points can influence how we attract, who we’re attracted to, and where it is likely to play out. Also where we’re likely to meet our partners, whether we’re likely to make and keep our more meaningful relationships, and the general flavor of these relationships.
Astrology offers a rich, nuanced understanding of attraction and sexuality. By examining the placement and aspects of key planets in our natal charts, plus where the rulers of each house are and the condition of these rulers, we can gain valuable insights into our sexual nature and how we connect with others. Understanding these dynamics not only helps us navigate our own desires and relationships but also fosters deeper connections with those we are attracted to. So, whether you’re exploring your own chart or the chart of a potential partner, remember that the stars have much to reveal about the intricate dance of attraction and sexuality.

If you’re interested in finding out more about your own astrology, have relational questions, or anything else, please book a reading with me here on my site. Thank you.